The Importance of Listening

One of the benefits of Toastmasters that, to me, does not get enough mention as leadership and speaking skills, is gaining better Listening skills. As Toastmasters is for building better speakers, we probably gain listening skills at a faster pace due to our spending a majority of the time not on the podium. That being said, for interpersonal communication, how do we fare? I have compiled a list of tips from a couple of websites (skillsyouneed.com and mindtools.com) on active listening, which involves not only hearing, but letting the speaker know he or she is being heard.

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• Resist the urge to speak right away. Be patient.
• Treat the speaker as if you were in his or her shoes – show respect.
• Watch the speaker: make eye contact, look for non-verbal clues, and avoid physical distractions.
• Provide small responses: nod, use facial expressions, and verbally encourage them to continue (“yes,” “go on”).
• Without interrupting, paraphrase.
• Do not let the speaker’s mannerisms distract or bother you. We all speak differently.
• Listen for tone/inflection variations and watch the body language. Non-verbal communication is just as, if not, more, important than verbal communication.
• Stray from finding that counter-argument. Try to understand his or her viewpoint from his or her perspective. When the speaker is finished speaking, then discuss.
• Listen for the big picture or the main idea of the speaker’s argument. Do not get so lost in the details you miss the major point he or she is trying to convey.
• When it’s time to respond, be honest and tactful in your response.

After compiling these tips I realized I have this habit of finishing the speaker’s sentences, thinking it was showing I was paying attention! When I listen from now on, I’ll resist the urge to speak for them. Do you have any takeaways from this? Discuss them with someone and foster your listening skills!

DeAnna Wolf
VP Education
Top of Texas Toastmasters